i'm a little taken aback, had a little earthquake. i thought we were on the same path.
i worry now that perhaps i was wrong in thinking that. am waiting for His call to talk about it.
He is traveling for business, two timezones away, and texted me this morning to visit. i shared with Him news one of our swinging lifestyle couple friends, the male half of which (let's call him Mountain man) texted me last night and we visited about our weekends and getting together again soon. This is a couple we've played with together and separately and have very much enjoyed. It is also a couple that He has mentioned getting together with so He can learn rope bondage technique from, so not a couple that won't be aware of our new adventure into BDSM.
Mountain man was very excited to share about his experience this weekend, flogging another female playmate. He also had some specific requests for the next time i would be with him and his mate (let's call her Sunflower). Specifically, he wanted me to peg him wearing a strap-on while he fucked Sunflower and inquired if He (my Dom) would like to watch it, to which i replied, "Of course! And He'll probably want to touch and play with Sunflower and me as well." He went on to say that he and Sunflower were starting to explore their "kinkier side." Remembering our plans to get together with this couple for rope bondage, i mentioned to him that i'd been flogged this weekend as well, having been a good girl, and that we were doing the same, working on our contract and had gone through my sub list. He wanted to know more, wanted to know my limits, etc, but my Dom and i had not talked about sharing that and i said i needed to talk to Him before sharing anything further.
i texted Him about this, to which He replied, "Need to be careful don't want to get ahead of ourselves." Oh...my heart dropped immediately into my stomach.
"What do you mean about getting ahead of ourselves?" i carefully asked.
"Poor choice of words. Brain moving too fast for fingers," He texted.
i was still rocked and really needed to know what this was. "Ok. Rephrase so i understand?"
"you and I need to finish our contract so we are perfectly aligned. That's what I meant," He replied.
i had finished revising our contract before He came this past weekend, but we ran out of time to go over it. i'd sent Him a version prior. We'd talked a lot about everything, i thought, including going over my sub list, so i thought we WERE on the same alignment. Now i'm nervous. Has something changed?
i sent Him a copy of the contract, and then a revision later after i realized the sub list wasn't in it and there were some edits to make based on our weekend's conversations.
He did text that He couldn't wait to Skype later.
i'm trying to be hopeful. What if we aren't aligned? What if we can't negotiate the contract? i thought we'd started already this weekend and that the contract was, in essence, agreed upon. What if there is a dealbreaker in our negotiation and we cannot come to terms with it? i've already given myself completely to Him, body, soul, and heart, based on this assumption. What happens to our relationship if we cannot agree now?
Clearly i am lacking some patience and discipline.
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Sunday, October 28, 2012
First Flogging
We were concluding our discussion on our intentions, desires, fears, deepest demons on entering into our Dom-sub adventure together.
"You've been a good girl, g. Stand."
As i stood from the couch He walked away to the black Coach bag embroidered with Fun Stuff in hot pink on the side.
"Take off your shirt and bra, drop your jeans, and bend over the couch." i obeyed, quickly shedding my clothing as directed. i was glad i had put on my new white panties with the sheer white lace backside that framed my ass so well and gave a peekaboo, see-through view. He'd not seen them before.
"Oh, nice," He cooed as he ran his hand over my ass cheeks and the lace. I stretched my arms out in front of me on the couch, prostrate, offering myself completely to Him. A quick slap to my left buttock sent shivers up my spine and jellied my knees. My swollen pussy, aroused with our conversation, pulsed, adding moisture to my already soaked panties.
i feel His fingers at my hips tugging at my panties, pulling them down and shimmying them to my ankles. "Wider," he instructed, guiding me to step wider, exposing my throbbing wet sex. "Oh, nice, goosebumps."
"You're so wet," as he slides first one finger, then a second into my wetness. He pulses His fingers into my G spot, my breath staggers, my arms push even more forward ahead of me, sending my ass upward. i'm on the edge of orgasm, about to squirt, and He stops, pulling His fingers out of my pussy to my face, "Taste." His fingers are slick with my juices, thick and sweet, as they enter my mouth as they first entered my pussy, first one finger, then a second. Oh God, i taste good, sweet with wanting. i've been waiting for Him.
i feel the flat leather lashes of the flogger trail slowly over my skin as He pulls it across my ass. He does this several times in both directions. i'm quaking. He then drags them upward from the back of my thighs up onto my ass, both sides, and finally, over my wet slit. "Oh, " i moan.
The flogger pulls away and i feel lashes adhered to my sex by my wetness, pulling me as they are removed from my body--it's heaven. Then the lashes strike my buttocks, slapping, gentle, increasing in intensity. They move to vertical and hit my pussy, my clit. "Oh my God!" I drag my fingernails across the ridged upholstery. It repeats, varies, sticks to the juices running down my legs. His other hand rubs down my spine.
He stops and i gasp. His fingers thrust into me, pounding my G, bringing me to the edge and pull away. His tongue replaces them, lapping my wetness, taking me nearly there and leaving. He grasps a handful of my long dark curly hair just above the nape of my neck and tightens his grip, pulling my head back, causing my mouth to open and kisses me forcefully, sharing His sweet mouthful. i suck his tongue. My breathing is erratic, my chest heaves, my body electric.
His hands release my hair and rub down my spine once more and flogging again commences. More forceful. "Oh, yes." i hear him exclaim. i feel his erection through his jeans as he presses himself against my hip. His fingers enter me again, taking me to the edge but not over.
"Suck me."
i push myself up off the couch and kneel in front of Him and pull down his jeans that He'd unzipped, freeing his erection. He is hot, throbbing. i pull Him into my mouth and suck, swirling my tongue around His swollen head, teasing the triangle of skin at the sulcus that i know drives Him wild. His precum coats my tongue, slippery and wonderful. "Yes, play with my balls," he breathes, and i take them into my mouth, one at a time, rubbing his cock with my hands, and eventually taking both in. i return to his cock and take Him deep into my throat, letting it gag me, knowing how much He loves to hear and feel me gag on Him.
He pushes me back over the couch and i wonder if He will fuck me. His fingers run up from my pussy, His hand slaps my ass. "Ok. My God!" and He steps back, pulling His jeans up.
i am breathless, quivering, ignited hearing His pleasure. We have a swingers party to go to in just over an hour. i can feel His want, love His denial for us both. He helps me up and kisses me. He asks me how it was and i am speechless, out of breath, i cannot form words as i try to describe the ecstasy of pleasing Him. He holds me up and i am adored, as i whisper, "unbelievably awesome."
"You've been a good girl, g. Stand."
As i stood from the couch He walked away to the black Coach bag embroidered with Fun Stuff in hot pink on the side.
"Take off your shirt and bra, drop your jeans, and bend over the couch." i obeyed, quickly shedding my clothing as directed. i was glad i had put on my new white panties with the sheer white lace backside that framed my ass so well and gave a peekaboo, see-through view. He'd not seen them before.
"Oh, nice," He cooed as he ran his hand over my ass cheeks and the lace. I stretched my arms out in front of me on the couch, prostrate, offering myself completely to Him. A quick slap to my left buttock sent shivers up my spine and jellied my knees. My swollen pussy, aroused with our conversation, pulsed, adding moisture to my already soaked panties.
i feel His fingers at my hips tugging at my panties, pulling them down and shimmying them to my ankles. "Wider," he instructed, guiding me to step wider, exposing my throbbing wet sex. "Oh, nice, goosebumps."
"You're so wet," as he slides first one finger, then a second into my wetness. He pulses His fingers into my G spot, my breath staggers, my arms push even more forward ahead of me, sending my ass upward. i'm on the edge of orgasm, about to squirt, and He stops, pulling His fingers out of my pussy to my face, "Taste." His fingers are slick with my juices, thick and sweet, as they enter my mouth as they first entered my pussy, first one finger, then a second. Oh God, i taste good, sweet with wanting. i've been waiting for Him.
i feel the flat leather lashes of the flogger trail slowly over my skin as He pulls it across my ass. He does this several times in both directions. i'm quaking. He then drags them upward from the back of my thighs up onto my ass, both sides, and finally, over my wet slit. "Oh, " i moan.
The flogger pulls away and i feel lashes adhered to my sex by my wetness, pulling me as they are removed from my body--it's heaven. Then the lashes strike my buttocks, slapping, gentle, increasing in intensity. They move to vertical and hit my pussy, my clit. "Oh my God!" I drag my fingernails across the ridged upholstery. It repeats, varies, sticks to the juices running down my legs. His other hand rubs down my spine.
He stops and i gasp. His fingers thrust into me, pounding my G, bringing me to the edge and pull away. His tongue replaces them, lapping my wetness, taking me nearly there and leaving. He grasps a handful of my long dark curly hair just above the nape of my neck and tightens his grip, pulling my head back, causing my mouth to open and kisses me forcefully, sharing His sweet mouthful. i suck his tongue. My breathing is erratic, my chest heaves, my body electric.
His hands release my hair and rub down my spine once more and flogging again commences. More forceful. "Oh, yes." i hear him exclaim. i feel his erection through his jeans as he presses himself against my hip. His fingers enter me again, taking me to the edge but not over.
"Suck me."
i push myself up off the couch and kneel in front of Him and pull down his jeans that He'd unzipped, freeing his erection. He is hot, throbbing. i pull Him into my mouth and suck, swirling my tongue around His swollen head, teasing the triangle of skin at the sulcus that i know drives Him wild. His precum coats my tongue, slippery and wonderful. "Yes, play with my balls," he breathes, and i take them into my mouth, one at a time, rubbing his cock with my hands, and eventually taking both in. i return to his cock and take Him deep into my throat, letting it gag me, knowing how much He loves to hear and feel me gag on Him.
He pushes me back over the couch and i wonder if He will fuck me. His fingers run up from my pussy, His hand slaps my ass. "Ok. My God!" and He steps back, pulling His jeans up.
i am breathless, quivering, ignited hearing His pleasure. We have a swingers party to go to in just over an hour. i can feel His want, love His denial for us both. He helps me up and kisses me. He asks me how it was and i am speechless, out of breath, i cannot form words as i try to describe the ecstasy of pleasing Him. He holds me up and i am adored, as i whisper, "unbelievably awesome."
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