GOT

Maximus created something in His heart for us months and months ago to describe to me His intensions, His feelings, His committment, and that is GOT. i think i've mentioned GOT in several posts but had never described it, feeling it was too personal to share outside the two of us, but i need to describe it now for this post.

GOT is "Growing Old Together." It is a shared vision of ours, from Maximus' heart to mine, that is the answer to any question i may ever have--when i remember to answer my questions with it. And you may remember that i struggled with GOT initially, especially in Fight #1 of the Battling it Out post. i've not had anyone ever promise to stay until the end actually stay to the end, so this takes a lot for me. i trust Maximus with all my heart, and i do believe Him, i just have flashes of things from previous relationships that cause me worry--and they're things about me and my personality that make me question His ability to stay with me, not the other way around. i'm not easy and i know that.

My last post, Humor, the Double-edged Sword, ended with that. i've been sick, Maximus has been traveling, i'm feeling off-sorts all over. He sent me an email to tell me what a nice job i'd done on my blog post and that He knew it was difficult to write. All i could focus on was that He didn't mention all the questions at the end as i had sent myself reeling with them. He texted later and i told Him i was having a hard time after writing the blog, that it brought more questions than answers. He replied, "Easy answer for me. GOT."

But i feel i'm going to destroy this wonderful thing we have. "I'm just having a hard time worried that you've picked me and i'm bad news."

"Funny. You are not able to do that. Funny. If you fully understand GOT and you do, then its not possible. So so easy to answer. GOT. Explain that. That is my answer." He replied

There were some other exchanges of mine, trying to justify my concerns, which ended with His text, "So no more thinking you are going to mess this up. I'm going to write above your ass GOT."

"GOT" was my answer. To which He responded, "Perfect and only answer."

He Skyped later and we talked more. Well, He talked to me about how adorable He finds it that an highly educated, intelligent, beautiful woman could over-analyze herself into Analysis Paralysis. He does understand my history and understands how things can flash us back to past hurtful memories, but they are just that, past hurtful memories and not now. And He's right, at no time in my past have i had a relationship like this, fully trusting with such complete and honest communication that has no recoil. None of our conversations, none of our fears have ever been used as ammunition as they have in previous relationships--this is not previous or past, this is now, this is GOT.

Again, a posting from Tarq from Whips, Chains, & Duct Tape

A True Master will fight for his submissive. He will not give up on her. He will seek her face to fill his day with happiness. When she falls in the darkest times of her life, He will go anywhere needed to bring her back--He wouldn't care how much it will take, but He will get his girl back no matter what. If she is lost ...He will guide her through the darkness. If she is in danger He will be her bodyguard. If she is sad...He will be her smiles that adorn her lips. If she is happy...He will be sharing the joy with her. When she loses her faith…He will be her bible that she can hold into.  If she lost her trust on the world…He will be her world. His eyes will show how determined He is, His spirit is not going to be defeated. Giving up on her is not even an option, she is going to be cherished, protected, disciplined, guided, and loved. No matter the obstacles along the way, no matter the people that will try to destroy what they have, no matter how life is pushing back…everything will be shattered on the strength of His willpower and His strong heart that will look to the whole world in the eye and say “I will stand by My girl and will be there for her no matter what.”

Maximus is a True Master. my GOT. my answer.