The Gift of gabriella

When Maximus and i made the decision to enter BDSM in a D/s relationship, we both felt it was very important for me to document our journey together. The initial reason was to have documentation of a realistic BDSM couple and perhaps write a book that was more accurate and true to the lifestyle than Fifty Shades of Grey. But we quickly learned how important my journaling was to US, how much we learned about each other and ourselves through the process of documenting our journey and my feelings.

It took some time and pondering for me to come up with a name for this blog, because i wanted it to reflect the philosophy of D/s, what it meant for me and us. i brainstormed what BDSM and D/s meant to me and when i wrote gift, i knew instantly that that word needed to be included in the name. So while writing a blog may reflect someone with "the gift of gab," someone who talks and chatters, "The Gift of gabriella" is a reflection of my gift to Maximus, the ultimate, vulnerable, trusting, complete surrendering of giving myself to Him.

To me, being a submissive is the ultimate gift. And when i say that, it's not a gift i've ever given to anyone before. i also can't imagine giving that to anyone else ever again. We had a rough month, Maximus and i, and at one point, i wasn't sure we were going to be able to continue--and at that time, i came to realize that if we didn't continue, i could not see myself giving this gift to anyone else. This gift is for Maximus, my only. There is something in us, something in us together that makes this gift possible.

But being a submissive is also the receipt of the ultimate gift. There is something remarkable in having someone learn your soul, mind, and body to such a point as to take you over an edge that you could not achieve alone. There is something remarkable to have someone trust you so much that they are willing to do things to you in such a vulnerable state.

This gift transcends BDSM, however. This gift we share permeates every part of our lives together, and apart. BDSM requires exquisite communication, trust, sharing, honesty, etc. to exist, and in turn, fills our entire relationship with exquisite communication, trust, sharing, honesty, etc. We are not perfect, and we will stumble, make mistakes, unintentionally hurt each other, but the gift we share helps us recover from that and in turn, grow.

Maximus, it is Christmas, and i love You. Not because it's Christmas or the closing of one chapter and the beginning of a new one in the book of our lives, but for the gifts You are and the gifts you allow me to share everyday and for the rest of our lives together. No box could ever contain it, no paper ever cover it, no ribbon ever beautiful enough to wrap the enormity of us. These gifts i shall cherish forever.